[Norton searches the pockets of the jacket and pats the whole thing down to make sure there's nothing hidden in the lining. Then inspects the shoes with equal care. He starts to pat down Jacob, but while he's crouched down and halfway up Jacob's thighs he freezes abruptly for a few seconds, then sits back on his heels, hands pulled up to his chest mouse-like.]
I have been mind controlled before, and it was a bloody nightmare.
He was named Adam and he had the ability to alter memories and did so repeatedly. So I don't know everything that happened. But I had no control over anything, even my own thoughts and feelings. I didn't have the power to so much as acknowledge reality properly.
[Norton resumes the pat down as the song plays from the phone on the floor. Right now he only has Jacob's word that's the trigger. But he has to keep moving forward at least for now. Plenty of time to spiral later.]
[Norton steps back, search finished, and sits down on the edge of Jacob's bed.]
I think what disappoints me most is that all this is over something so silly. The brainwashing itself to show off to a boy--a commie boy at that. And the murder on account of a petty spat. You're better than this. If you murder someone I'd expect it to be more worthwhile, like dealing with someone who hurt one of the people you're close to.
So...why did you really do it? Are you trying to prove you're irredeemable? What is it?
If you want drugs you can just ask me. So long as they aren't, you know, mind control drugs. I think it's best to not be too beholden to them and I'd encourage limiting use, but I'm not a Temperance Tabitha. You can't spend years going to Soho clubs and come out rigid about that sort of thing. [And Norton would rather Jacob get it from him, so he can know what he has and how much he's using, than have Jacob smuggle it. Although he thinks Jacob would probably prefer to acquire it on his own for precisely the same reason.]
What made you feel it was wrong? Mind you, that's absolutely the correct way to feel about mind control, but what changed?
[Norton can understand the impulse to take out someone who'd angered him if everything was going to go tits up anyway. Probably something he'll need to address with Jacob at some point, but right now he'll settle for "mind control is bad."]
[He's broken Norton's trust and he knows that he should repair it somehow, starting with answering his questions, but he's feeling far too worn out. Wrung out and twisted and broken and all he wants to do is lie on his bed and stare at the ceiling until exhaustion takes him.]
[Norton pauses on his way to the door at Jacob's statement of remorse.]
It's worth a great deal. To me, at least. It doesn't...fix things, but.... [He stops, bites his lip for a moment, then resumes.] ...I've had a number of people who've hurt me and aren't sorry, so it matters when someone is.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-07-07 07:12 pm (UTC)I have been mind controlled before, and it was a bloody nightmare.
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Date: 2024-07-07 07:26 pm (UTC)What happened?
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Date: 2024-07-07 09:32 pm (UTC)That's why I don't like mind control.
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Date: 2024-07-07 09:34 pm (UTC)I wouldn't do that shit to you.
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Date: 2024-07-08 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-07-08 07:19 pm (UTC)This is the song I used. I know you would suspect Only You, so I changed it up.
[His shoulders sink and he drops the phone on the floor, keeping his arms out again.]
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Date: 2024-07-09 03:48 am (UTC)How do you pick the songs?
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Date: 2024-07-09 04:46 am (UTC)[He stares at his wall.]
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Date: 2024-07-10 01:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-07-10 01:59 am (UTC)If he hears the song, he'll wait and eventually snap out of it.
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Date: 2024-07-11 01:13 am (UTC)I think what disappoints me most is that all this is over something so silly. The brainwashing itself to show off to a boy--a commie boy at that. And the murder on account of a petty spat. You're better than this. If you murder someone I'd expect it to be more worthwhile, like dealing with someone who hurt one of the people you're close to.
So...why did you really do it? Are you trying to prove you're irredeemable? What is it?
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Date: 2024-07-11 01:16 am (UTC)Hilbert was supposed to be useful. Got some drugs out of him.
But - [He clears his throat, shifting his feet.]
Seemed - wrong, after a while. [After meeting Tor. After meeting Cazador.]
Didn't know how to fix it without all the shit happening, so I figured, if the shit was gonna happen, I might as well hurt someone who pissed me off.
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Date: 2024-07-12 02:45 am (UTC)What made you feel it was wrong? Mind you, that's absolutely the correct way to feel about mind control, but what changed?
[Norton can understand the impulse to take out someone who'd angered him if everything was going to go tits up anyway. Probably something he'll need to address with Jacob at some point, but right now he'll settle for "mind control is bad."]
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Date: 2024-07-12 02:47 am (UTC)No. Not today.
[He's broken Norton's trust and he knows that he should repair it somehow, starting with answering his questions, but he's feeling far too worn out. Wrung out and twisted and broken and all he wants to do is lie on his bed and stare at the ceiling until exhaustion takes him.]
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Date: 2024-07-12 02:50 am (UTC)Okay, not today.
But someday soon.
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Date: 2024-07-12 02:51 am (UTC)[He steps away and to his bed, sitting on the edge of it.]
I - am sorry. For what it's worth.
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Date: 2024-07-12 03:10 am (UTC)It's worth a great deal. To me, at least. It doesn't...fix things, but.... [He stops, bites his lip for a moment, then resumes.] ...I've had a number of people who've hurt me and aren't sorry, so it matters when someone is.
Not doing it again matters more, though.
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Date: 2024-07-12 03:14 am (UTC)Do I get to keep the alcohol?
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Date: 2024-07-13 12:42 am (UTC)Sure, why not.
I won't tell you not to get drunk, but if you vanish too long Laura's going to come find you and she's much more scary than I am.
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Date: 2024-07-13 12:48 am (UTC)[He puts the pillow over his face.]