Wretched, but I'm not dead, so it could be worse. And I can remember everything that happened, which is better than having gaps of missing time where you want to know what happened but are afraid to find out.
[He presses his face into Mae's fur for a moment.]
I'm a bit disappointed that with no memories and barely any sense of self my first impulse was to stab something. I would've liked to have been cleverer than that.
I was put in a dungeon and given a test to try to save a woman I couldn't get to and also there was a monster. I got scared and stabbed the monster with a bed.
Funny thing is, if I'd had my memories, I think I would have done much better at the test. Being chased around by a monster is just a day on the job back home. Instead I panicked.
[While it'd been happening, the monster was the worst part. But after it was over, the amnesia bothers him more than the monster.]
If I provide the details, could you tell me how you would have solved it?
[He's curious, and also it will keep him distracted from his thoughts to focus on the maze as a puzzle and not think about the temporary loss of memory.]
I'm not reliving it. I'm... [He doesn't know what he's doing, just that he simultaneous hates it and feels terror at the thought of forgetting it, which makes it harder to pretend he has the way he normally does when bad things happen.]
...recontextualizing it.
[He scurries over to his bookshelf to fetch a notepad and a pencil and few other small objects, brings it over to the coffee table and starts drawing a quick diagram of the dungeon. The central space, the cells around, the door the monster came through, the hallway and the cell at the end. He draws an "X" where the lever was, a lying down stick figure where the girl appeared to be trapped. He takes an engraved silver lighter from his pocket and places it in the hallway behind the door. A few dice become the crates and boxes he'd hidden behind. Last is a small brass button in one of the cells.]
So, I'm the button. Or you're the button now. We'll assume your cell door is open. There's a woman in a closed cell with a bloody great boulder suspended over her here, a mysterious lever here, a open cell full of blood and remains there, and a door on the other side of the room that--for now--is closed.
It's dark, but there's a trapdoor in the ceiling here. [He draws a square on the paper.] Nothing visible in the prisoner's cell, although she must have got in there somehow so it stands to reason either the cell opens or there's another door inside. Oopsie, wait, that's assumptions on my part. Forget I said that. The straight known facts are that there's no door or other way out visible in the prisoner's cell.
But also as you look around, something very large starts banging against this door here, and you've probably only a few seconds before it breaks through.
If you pull the lever it opens the trap door and drops the boulder. One pull of the lever drops the boulder half-way and makes the trap door open but too high to reach. A second pull probably drops the ladder to the trap door and drops the boulder the rest of the way.
And by this point, the monster's busted in. [He moves the lighter into the main room.] It's very strong, but not very bright or agile or perceptive. So you can evade it easily enough if you're quiet and cautious but it's deadly if it catches you.
I didn't think about it that closely. It was instinct to not want her to die simply because she was there and vulnerable. I had a notion the trap door passage might lead to her cell since the lever affected both, and that I might be able to get her out that way.
A few years ago, and with memories intact, I would have killed her to escape. These days, depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't let her die if there was another way, but if I had ten seconds to get into the next room or else the Earth explodes, then neither her life nor my feelings are the most important thing in that moment. Since there wasn't any sort of extreme situation like that, however, simply stacking the boxes and not killing her seems the most reasonable approach.
I'd hate to be in a position where someone killed me just because it was too much a pain in the arse not to. I mean, I think I'm worth the effort, even the person is a stranger and doesn't know it yet.
Do you really still believe that? Because the thing is, when it comes down to it, the people who really have the ability to do significant culling are balding middle-aged ministers with expanding waistlines and shrinking ethics. And they aren't strong, they're just powerful.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-12-10 01:50 am (UTC)How are you doing?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-10 02:12 am (UTC)[He presses his face into Mae's fur for a moment.]
I'm a bit disappointed that with no memories and barely any sense of self my first impulse was to stab something. I would've liked to have been cleverer than that.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-10 02:47 am (UTC)[He looks over his shoulder at him.]
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Date: 2024-12-10 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-10 03:36 am (UTC)Good. [There is so much paternal pride packed into that one word.]
That's fucked up.
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Date: 2024-12-12 05:59 am (UTC)Funny thing is, if I'd had my memories, I think I would have done much better at the test. Being chased around by a monster is just a day on the job back home. Instead I panicked.
[While it'd been happening, the monster was the worst part. But after it was over, the amnesia bothers him more than the monster.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 02:26 pm (UTC)You were working on insticts and intuition. You did what you could.
[He snorts.]
It's why training is more important than raw skill.
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Date: 2024-12-14 10:42 pm (UTC)[He's curious, and also it will keep him distracted from his thoughts to focus on the maze as a puzzle and not think about the temporary loss of memory.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-14 10:50 pm (UTC)That - something you want to relive?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-15 07:26 pm (UTC)...recontextualizing it.
[He scurries over to his bookshelf to fetch a notepad and a pencil and few other small objects, brings it over to the coffee table and starts drawing a quick diagram of the dungeon. The central space, the cells around, the door the monster came through, the hallway and the cell at the end. He draws an "X" where the lever was, a lying down stick figure where the girl appeared to be trapped. He takes an engraved silver lighter from his pocket and places it in the hallway behind the door. A few dice become the crates and boxes he'd hidden behind. Last is a small brass button in one of the cells.]
So, I'm the button. Or you're the button now. We'll assume your cell door is open. There's a woman in a closed cell with a bloody great boulder suspended over her here, a mysterious lever here, a open cell full of blood and remains there, and a door on the other side of the room that--for now--is closed.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-15 07:40 pm (UTC)Alright. And so if I look around, the floor, the ceiling, is that closed door the only way out? Is there a way out through the prisoner's cell?
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Date: 2024-12-15 07:51 pm (UTC)But also as you look around, something very large starts banging against this door here, and you've probably only a few seconds before it breaks through.
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Date: 2024-12-15 07:55 pm (UTC)What does the lever do? Did you pull it? Does it kill her?
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Date: 2024-12-15 08:13 pm (UTC)And by this point, the monster's busted in. [He moves the lighter into the main room.] It's very strong, but not very bright or agile or perceptive. So you can evade it easily enough if you're quiet and cautious but it's deadly if it catches you.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-15 08:15 pm (UTC)You want the real answer or the clever answer?
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Date: 2024-12-15 08:20 pm (UTC)And also now curious why the clever answer isn't the real one.
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Date: 2024-12-15 08:23 pm (UTC)Pull the lever again.
Both are smart, but you were obviously not supposed to kill the prisoner.
I'd kill her, though. You get out and then what? You have to figure out a way to get back in and save her. It doesn't make sense to go back.
[He shrugs.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-15 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-15 09:30 pm (UTC)Why didn't you just kill her? She was going to die anyway. And you didn't know her.
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Date: 2024-12-16 01:22 am (UTC)A few years ago, and with memories intact, I would have killed her to escape. These days, depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't let her die if there was another way, but if I had ten seconds to get into the next room or else the Earth explodes, then neither her life nor my feelings are the most important thing in that moment. Since there wasn't any sort of extreme situation like that, however, simply stacking the boxes and not killing her seems the most reasonable approach.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-16 01:54 am (UTC)[He shrugs.]
Maybe, without my memories, I would have tried to save her. Sounds like something I would have done.
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Date: 2024-12-16 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-16 03:34 am (UTC)The weak have their place, but - it is up to the strong to thin the herd.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-16 04:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-17 01:53 am (UTC)And didn't you tell me about different kinds of strengths? That's a different strength - power.
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