Different dynamic, Abel. He's my warden. He's supposed to be an annoying shit about my issues.
And I'm not afraid of him running away from me. So I just say it.
Hasn't bit me in the ass yet. Well - no. Once, but he came back. Listen, the bottom line is that you gotta just come out and say it. You can't sit and agonize or overthink it because then you'll never do it. And if you keep sitting on this, then you'll never know if this is something you really want.
I've given myself a deadline... this has been there a while, but Im better with engines than I am with people and if it goes wrong, maybe he would come back. It isn't like be hasn't been upset with me before but...he's also a very good friend, and it makes it more difficult. I don't know...these are just excuses. [He has so many of them, he knows. They've been keeping him from moving forward on this.]
Before I even tackle that mess I still have to talk with Alexei first anyways. [It's important that he does, and maybe he is in a better place for it than he had been. Maybe.]
When you can't learn it from a manual the process is slower and I've never been good at this.
[But he's trying. The fact he's even having this conversation is testament to how much he wants to succeed when he reaches for the option that isn't exactly conventional.]
Well first, I'd like to know what he actually wants...when I first arrived we'd- well. I can't say I had broken up with him, nothing we were doing had a label on it...but because of that, it complicated things.
We're working on it, we've made progress, but the first thing I need to know from him is if he is willing to have something open, with more than just sex on the table with other partners. I don't- I don't know how to say I get different needs met with different people without it sounding to him like he isn't enough.
But that ain't the way it should be. You want that, stop sleeping with
Norton and just be his friend. You're complicating this way too much and
you're gonna hurt Alexei and lose 'em both.
Cuz...I don't think you're gonna get what you want from Norton.
Yes, well when I tried that instead months ago before Alexei even got here and It just made it worse.
[Because not sleeping with Norton for a good month and a half just made him appreciate everything else about him that made him enjoy his company so much.
He sighs himself, the sound entirely frustrated.]
How do I uncomplicate it, then? It's a fucking mess...
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 03:51 am (UTC)And I'm not afraid of him running away from me. So I just say it.
Hasn't bit me in the ass yet. Well - no. Once, but he came back. Listen, the bottom line is that you gotta just come out and say it. You can't sit and agonize or overthink it because then you'll never do it. And if you keep sitting on this, then you'll never know if this is something you really want.
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 04:01 am (UTC)Before I even tackle that mess I still have to talk with Alexei first anyways. [It's important that he does, and maybe he is in a better place for it than he had been. Maybe.]
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 03:55 pm (UTC)Yeah, and I'm better with dogs than people. That's not an excuse. You gotta learn.
And what are you planning on telling Alexei...?
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 04:22 pm (UTC)[But he's trying. The fact he's even having this conversation is testament to how much he wants to succeed when he reaches for the option that isn't exactly conventional.]
Well first, I'd like to know what he actually wants...when I first arrived we'd- well. I can't say I had broken up with him, nothing we were doing had a label on it...but because of that, it complicated things.
We're working on it, we've made progress, but the first thing I need to know from him is if he is willing to have something open, with more than just sex on the table with other partners. I don't- I don't know how to say I get different needs met with different people without it sounding to him like he isn't enough.
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 05:26 pm (UTC)[Jacob sighs a little.]
But that ain't the way it should be. You want that, stop sleeping with Norton and just be his friend. You're complicating this way too much and you're gonna hurt Alexei and lose 'em both.
Cuz...I don't think you're gonna get what you want from Norton.
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 05:43 pm (UTC)[Because not sleeping with Norton for a good month and a half just made him appreciate everything else about him that made him enjoy his company so much.
He sighs himself, the sound entirely frustrated.]
How do I uncomplicate it, then? It's a fucking mess...
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 05:46 pm (UTC)[He wishes he didn't understand that. Astarion and Jacob had tried the same thing with the same results.]
Put on your big girl panties and talk to them. You got yourself into this mess, so you're going to have to get yourself out.
Talk to them or I'm going to bug the hell out of you until you do.
And don't tell Alexei that Norton has something he doesn't or offers you something he can't. That's fucking cruel.
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 05:55 pm (UTC)And he knows he has to, but...now he's got more than just Fitz breathing down his neck to pull the trigger and maybe that will help.]
No reward without the risk... [Except the risk is the feelings of two people he cares about very much and his own.
Another heavy sigh.] Thank you for your help Jacob.
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 05:57 pm (UTC)[Jacob knows, but he shoves it back at him for a reason. To show him exactly how it comes across.]
Sure thing, kid.
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 06:02 pm (UTC)And the next part is softer, hesitant.]
You know my name, use it.
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 06:03 pm (UTC)Ethan.
Act like a goddamn grown up.
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-01-06 06:11 pm (UTC)Working on it. [It's all that much harder when the two men you're dealing with have enough emotional vulnerability to maybe fill a teaspoon.]
Talk to you later.