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[weaponwithoutpurpose]

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[reargunner]

"Not really."

His eyelids lower a bit. He watches the picture on the screen moving and shifts to uncurl one leg, keeping the other up near his chest while he slides his foot to the floor.

"Started hitting too close to home."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"That's the problem with psychology," he says softly, turning his eyes back to watch the whales. "Sooner or later you find yourself in it and it's not pretty."

[reargunner]

A small sniff.

"Yeah, something like that."

Some things had started to make sense, but not in a way he'd liked.

"Plenty of other things to read."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Exactly. Like I said, I got a real good book about the deadliest fish," he says, not quite serious but also - not quite joking.

[reargunner]

He lets out another little snort.

"Yeah."

Then he falls silent. He's still watching the screen, but it's fairly evident from his expression that his thoughts are somewhere else entirely.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

Jacob lets him go for a while, but when the boring parts about the plants start, he sits up. "What do you think?"

[reargunner]

"Mmh?"

He blinks a couple of times and slides his attention sideways, directing his eyes at Jacob without quite looking at him.

"About what?"

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

He pauses for half a second. "You were gone there for a bit."

[reargunner]

Another pause, then his expression scrunches slightly and he looks annoyed for a moment. Annoyed, but in a tired, almost resigned kind of way.

"What do you fucking expect from me right now, man."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Nothing," he answers honestly. "You're going through it right now, I know."

[reargunner]

He closes his eyes to keep from biting back that Jacob doesn't know shit, because he knows that isn't fair.

"Doesn't matter if I am. Doesn't make any difference."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"It matters to me, Alexei," he says softly, staring at the screen.

[reargunner]

"And what difference does that make?"

A brief glance sideways.

"This place actually got me fooled. Like a fucking idiot. And now there's just too many ways to stick another knife in."