[The lack of response drags. Sweeney is reflecting and doing his best, but in the end, his mind keeps coming back to the same answer: giving it shape only means it hurts more when he doesn't get it.]
I don't know.
[It's have a beat before he continues.]
Doesn't really matter.
More than he'll get.
[A second later.]
What's one life when there's a list?
It's just going to be consecutive sentences, no matter what's decided.
I put that fucking anger into something productive. Something that makes me feel better. Think about what the problem is. The problem ain't that the other person did something. The problem ain't that Sebastian is a fucking cunt who can't keep a lid on his own goddamn self. He ain't worth that.
The problem is that your girl is hurt. And that's something you CAN do something about.
[There's no response for a good while. Sweeney isn't sure what to do with that answer. All he can feel is that Jacob thinks he isn't already addressing the fact that Laura's been hurt; like he's slacking in caring for her, even when Sweeney knows that's not true. Does it look like he's not doing enough? Is he not doing enough?
It's hard to take all of the guilt of his Feeling onto himself. If the problem isn't that Sebastian did the murder and won't care because he already didn't care...what else is there? Sweeney's rage at himself for not doing enough; not being enough to protect her?
All he knows is that his chest hurts, and he's lost without a clear direction. Finally, he sends an answer.]
What would you do?
[Laura was Jacob's, too. Is. He isn't sure how that all stands at the moment. Not fucking doesn't really define the rest of it.]
[If it was one of his? When did that change? Sweeney didn't expect 'not fucking' to alter that scenario, but...well, it's not really any of his business. The rest is hard enough. It sounds an awful lot like 'suck it up and let it go'. Just get over it. He isn't sure where the difference is, even though he trusts Jacob is trying to make an alternative point. It's just hard to see. Maybe Sweeney will understand it better when he's not so pissed. It takes him a couple of seconds to reflect and move on.]
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timeasmymeasure
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-14 02:25 am (UTC)Steve is here.
Maybe an hour or two at most.
Talking is gonna suck, so you could message her.
If you want.
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-14 02:28 am (UTC)How bad are you?
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-14 03:07 am (UTC)[Which obviously isn't a full answer to the question. A beat later, he continues.]
Waiting
You know
See how things go.
What sort of punishment.
If there even is one.
Or if it's made public or whatever.
Then I expect someone will try to talk me down from doing something stupid.
[It just probably won't work.]
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-14 07:51 pm (UTC)Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-14 08:26 pm (UTC)I don't know.
[It's have a beat before he continues.]
Doesn't really matter.
More than he'll get.
[A second later.]
What's one life when there's a list?
It's just going to be consecutive sentences, no matter what's decided.
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-15 01:16 am (UTC)Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-15 03:04 am (UTC)End of the day, it doesn't matter.
I wasn't attacked, so it's on me to get over it.
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-15 04:57 pm (UTC)Who the fuck told you that?
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-15 05:10 pm (UTC)Even if I'm attacked, but don't die, it's not really worthy of anything fancy.
[Half a beat passes before he realizes something important.]
Not Mags.
She's always willing to go to bat for me.
There's just nothing really to do except get me a forced apology for shit like that.
And I hate that shit.
Waste of both our times.
So I rather not go through the motions and be expected to forgive them like I'm a line on a fucking checklist.
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-15 05:13 pm (UTC)Fuck that, brother. There are a lot of steps between blind fucking rage and apathy.
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-15 05:29 pm (UTC)[Please give him hope. He'd love to hear something from someone who's familiar with the Want to have blood all over his hands, in times like these.]
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-16 01:00 am (UTC)The problem is that your girl is hurt. And that's something you CAN do something about.
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-16 10:21 pm (UTC)It's hard to take all of the guilt of his Feeling onto himself. If the problem isn't that Sebastian did the murder and won't care because he already didn't care...what else is there? Sweeney's rage at himself for not doing enough; not being enough to protect her?
All he knows is that his chest hurts, and he's lost without a clear direction. Finally, he sends an answer.]
What would you do?
[Laura was Jacob's, too. Is. He isn't sure how that all stands at the moment. Not fucking doesn't really define the rest of it.]
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-08-18 08:55 pm (UTC)[Laura is his, but she isn't His. There's a difference and he knows his brother understand.]
That kinda anger and resentment does something to a person. Twists them and breaks them.
I can only focus on them. Recovery. Making sure that I take away the pain that someone else fucking gave 'em.
And be angry.
Don't let it twist me.
I don't let any asshole make me that angry anymore.
I'm done giving power to them.
Re: After Sebastian murders
Date: 2025-09-04 07:53 pm (UTC)I'll do what I can.
Shit happens.
Not like I can do anything to prevent it.
I'll tend her as best as I'm able.