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[weaponwithoutpurpose]

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[pharadyne]

Happy to give you access whenever you like.

[He pours himself a cup of tea and has a small sip.]

There might be other options, too, although you might think them even less real than the Enclosure. I could ask the Admiral to provide a potion that creates a vivid dreamscape of being outdoors, things like that.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

If I wanted that, I'd ask you for the damn Bliss.

[He doesn't really like the stuff, never did, but he's seen the effects on others, on Faith.

He's also highly suspicious of "potions."]

You're real comfortable asking the Admiral for shit.

[pharadyne]

Yes, if a powerful cosmic entity is going to offer practically anything I ask for, I'm absolutely going to take full advantage of it.

I'm surprised more people don't.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

[Jacob's laugh is bitter, and he finishes the drink.]

Did it help you survive this place? Does he ever ask you to pay the bill?

[pharadyne]

The payment was to graduate. And, now, to graduate other inmates. And as far as payments go, it's one of the...I was going to say "easiest" but it's not really that. But it's not bothersome or troubling, which I can't say for all the quid pro quo exchanges I've made.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

But you don't have to graduate me. So why the offer?

[He sniffs.]

What do you want in return?

[pharadyne]

I've been an inmate and it costs me nothing to help make you more comfortable. All I want in return is no murders on my watch.

And even if it's highly unlikely that I'll manage to graduate you in the next month, I do want you to graduate. You're important to someone who's important to me. That makes you important to me, too.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

[Jacob tenses.]

The only one I might kill is that skinny bastard. Arthur, maybe?

But he's fine as long as he keeps his mouth shut.

[pharadyne]

If that’s the requirement he’s definitely going to get murdered. We’ll have to do better than that.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

[He sits forward.]

I won't tolerate him slandering Joseph.

[pharadyne]

Why?

And I mean that as a genuine question. Joseph's not here to care what anyone says about him.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

But I am.

[He tilts his head.]

That's enough, isn't it?

[pharadyne]

To murder someone over? I'd say...no.

To be honest, even if he were here, I think assaulting Arthur over merely smartmouthing about him would be a bit much.

I know what John thought of Joseph. What do you think of him?

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

I'm the Head of Security. Assaulting people for slandering the Father is exactly what I do.

[He sighs.]

I was - Joseph's sacrifice. I'm meant to protect them. John and Joseph.

[pharadyne]

That's who you are to your brothers. Doesn't answer what you think of them or what they are to you.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

[He laughs.]

I think John has you all fooled because he's never had a genuine moment in his life. Not since he was five years old, at least. And I think Joseph's right about the Collapse and that what he's doing is the right thing.

What answer are you looking for here?

[pharadyne]

My understanding is you weren't there for a significant part of John's life so how would you know? [Norton's voice has a hint of chill in it. He takes another sip of tea to settle his thoughts.]

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

[He eyes him warily.]

He was scared of me. Jealous, because Joseph approved of me more.

But I did what I could to protect them both. All the times Dad wanted to go after John, I took those for him. The family that made us sleep in the barn? I took care of them.

Don't sit there and tell me I don't know my own family just because you let him suck you off and tell you everything you wanted to hear.

[pharadyne]

Protecting someone doesn't mean you know them. John could be very cunning, very careful about the masks he showed to the world, doesn't mean he never had a genuine moment. Maybe he didn't around you, but maybe that was because he was too scared to.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

[Jacob shrugs, but he looks more troubled than he did when he first arrived.]

Well, he's off living a new life and you're here defending him.

But he has nothing to do with me being here.

[pharadyne]

No, I imagine Old Man Seed is more at the root of things. Not everything, of course, but I sometimes ponder how different our choices would be if we were born in different times or to different families.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

[The fact that he calls him that, that he knows to call him that, strikes Jacob quiet for a moment. He eventually picks up his glass and gets up to refill it on his own.]

Why? We weren't.

John got new parents. Joseph lived in the system. I was raised in juvie.

We had all the second chances we could stomach and it all led us to the place we needed to be.

[pharadyne]

Those three separate paths were because of him. If you'd all been born to some pacifist Quaker whose idea of punishment was to have you all sit around a table and discuss your concerns with tedious sincerity, and had never been separated, I imagine you'd have all ended up rather differently.

Not that it matters in the end, since that's not what happened, I just wonder sometimes to what extent the differences between warden and inmate comes down to luck.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

Born to anyone else means I wouldn't be me. And so it's a moot point. You take my body and my mind and everything about me and give me two parents who weren't fuck ups...I wouldn't be the same person and I wouldn't be me.

[He fills his glass and shakes his head.]

So it doesn't matter for a lot of reasons.

[pharadyne]

I find it reassuring that we're not intrinsically wrong. And that wardens aren't intrinsically better.