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[weaponwithoutpurpose]

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[sixfeetofdirt]

"Oh, do I want to see you naked and glistening amidst clouds of steam? Perhaps at close enough quarters that I can't possibly avoid touching you?"

He nips at his neck.

"Of course I want to join."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Yeah, that's the best option."

He lets go of him so he can lift his shirt over his head, tossing it to the little corner he had dubbed the laundry spot. The jeans are next and he turns the shower in.

[sixfeetofdirt]

Astarion laughs and goes about stripping himself likewise, tossing his own clothes onto the bed.

"If I ever get to pick some somewhere after the Barge, it'll have to have hot running water. I don't think I can do without it, now."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Gets so cold at home that the pipes can freeze and it takes a while to get hot water. To the boiler goes out. And that's when I miss it the most."

He steps into the shower and leans back with a happy sort of sigh.

"Shit like this is what I try to avoid."

[sixfeetofdirt]

Astarion steps under the spray with him, making a soft sound of pleasure as warm water washes over his cool, pale skin.

"Your home doesn't have much to recommend it, it sometimes seems."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"No, but - don't have any other prospects. And if I go back, I can help Joseph rebuild after the collapse."

His hands rest on Astarion's hips.

"Assuming I ever graduate."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Mm."

That's always the rub, isn't it? He steps in close, head resting on Jacob's shoulder.

"You've never thought about...other options? Going somewhere else altogether, somewhere less...fragile?"

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Nah."

He keeps himself close. "I don't know what I'd do there."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Whatever you wanted," Astarion suggests. "Anything at all. Doesn't that have some appeal?"

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

He smoothes down Astarion's wet hair. "What do you want, hm? Infinite power and then what?"

[sixfeetofdirt]

He closes his eyes, humming at the touch.

"That's just the thing, darling. I can just...wake up on any given morning and decide to follow whatever whims take me. I don't have to limit myself."

He has no fucking idea.

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"That's not an answer and you know it."

He pulls back and kisses him there, right under the shower spray.

"What do you want?"

[sixfeetofdirt]

Astarion groans at him, sullen - but he's not pulling away.

"That's John's line. I don't know what I want, Jacob."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Yeah, me either. So don't act like it's fucking easy to figure out," he tells him. "Not for you and not for me. The Barge is the only place I don't have to make that choice. I'm choosing you right now, alright? That's enough for me."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"I-"

Astarion looks for a moment like he might be about to implode, his expression strange and unreadable, but he recovers.

"I...yes. Here and now, it's...enough for me, too."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

Jacob takes the soap and lathers up a cloth, though he doesn't look away from him.

"What's that about?" he wonders, just above the spray.

[sixfeetofdirt]

"I just...I'm trying not to be a huge bastard," he says, quietly, staring down at Jacob's collarbone. "You say something like that, tell me you're choosing me, and it's just...very tempting to try to push you away."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Glad you didn't say it. Best way to ruin an evening."

He brushes the cloth over Astarion's shoulders, then wraps arms around him again.

"I ain't asking for us to run off and have a future together. But trust me enough to tell you the truth when I tell you that I like you for you, and not just for what you do?"

There's a long pause. "Cuz that sure as fuck sounds like something I wouldn't believe. But here we are."

[sixfeetofdirt]

Astarion laughs quietly, then wraps his arms around Jacob in turn. There's hot water and good company and nothing hurts. It feels...nice. What if he just had this, forever?

(Until someone tried to take it from him and he was too weak to stop them. Until someone saw in him someone they could break into a new, more useful shape, again-)

"If you can believe that I think just as much of you, then...I'll do everything I can to trust in the same."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Yeah, I try," he assures him, massaging his fingers against Astarion's back for a moment, simply enjoying the luxury.

"Alright," he laughs, "now this ain't a shower but just fucking around in the water."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Oh, is there a difference?" Astarion smiles crookedly at him. "I'll scrub your back, if you like."

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

"Why, so you can stare at my ass?" he grunts, but gives up the cloth to him anyway.

He's not turning that offer down.

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Well, since it's there, I might remind myself how it looks," Astarion says primly, and reaches for the shower gel to work up some more lather.

A moment later, he's rubbing slow circles across Jacob's shoulders. It feels almost meditative. "...did you always want to be a soldier?"

[weaponwithoutpurpose]

He leans against the wall with one hand, relaxing under that touch. "Not always. It was something I thought about doing as a kid, but then it kind of became my only option."

Jacob scrubs his face with his hand, sticking his hair back.

"I really wanted to be a veterinarian. Animal doctor. Stupid kid dreams, you know?"

[sixfeetofdirt]

"...I don't know," Astarion says, gentler than he'd be with more or less anyone else. "Is it? There would be no veterinarians if not for children having stupid dreams into their adulthood."