"You were...I know how to do this when it's just sex. When it doesn't
mean anything. And when it isn't, when it becomes something else, it
doesn't feel like it's...sustainable. And I've made a mess of things
before."
He stays where he is. "I want you around, Astarion. For a lot of reasons I've told you before."
Jacob breathes deep. "And you might mess it up, I might fuck it up, but is it worth not having it at all? I'm fucking scared, too. I'm scared you're going to find something better and I won't be useful anymore and I'll lose you. This. That's what I'm afraid of."
"Stake my claim? That's offensive language around my kind, you know."
He turns the water off after a few more moments of rinsing, grabbing
another towel for himself. The bathroom feels pleasantly warm and steamy,
with no shocking chill when he steps out of the shower.
But he finishes drying and opens the door to the bedroom. He nudges Mae off the bed as he dresses only in boxers, giving Astarion a nice comfortable robe. It doesn't fit Jacob, and...he didn't get it for himself anyway.
"It's nothing," he tells him, suddenly very interested in getting his DVD player up and running. The screen is definitely not up enough - better push it back down.
He eventually finds his way and gestures for Astarion to join him on the bed.
"So, this isn't a movie. It's a show about idiots who think they can survive in the wild. They have challenges to complete. And they get to vote each other off. Whoever lasts longest wins."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 06:39 pm (UTC)"You wanna laze around and do nothing? Enjoy yourself forever, then you should be able to. Are you afraid of it?"
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 06:42 pm (UTC)"No."
A long silence.
"...I'm afraid of having it and then...losing it."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 06:56 pm (UTC)He nods, resting his forehead against his shoulder.
"That why you fought me so much? You think I'm going somewhere?"
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:02 pm (UTC)"No. Yes. I -"
His fingers tense against the tiles.
"You were...I know how to do this when it's just sex. When it doesn't mean anything. And when it isn't, when it becomes something else, it doesn't feel like it's...sustainable. And I've made a mess of things before."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:07 pm (UTC)He stays where he is. "I want you around, Astarion. For a lot of reasons I've told you before."
Jacob breathes deep. "And you might mess it up, I might fuck it up, but is it worth not having it at all? I'm fucking scared, too. I'm scared you're going to find something better and I won't be useful anymore and I'll lose you. This. That's what I'm afraid of."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:10 pm (UTC)Astarion leans back into him, closing his eyes before water runs into them.
"...I don't like you because you're useful. I'm not here because of that. You don't owe me anything."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:17 pm (UTC)Though that's obviously very nice.
"The other day I caught this huge fish and I wanted to show you cuz I knew you'd think it was the ugliest thing you've ever seen."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:22 pm (UTC)He laughs, almost despite himself.
"I've seen a lot of ugly things in my life, Jacob. But - I might have liked to be challenged. New depths are yet to be plumbed, I'm sure."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:31 pm (UTC)"Fucker bit me for the trouble, though."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:37 pm (UTC)Astarion tuts, even as he's still chuckling.
"Wretched thing. That privilege is reserved for me alone."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:40 pm (UTC)He leaves the water on if Astarion wants more time, but he steps out and grabs a towel.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:43 pm (UTC)"Stake my claim? That's offensive language around my kind, you know."
He turns the water off after a few more moments of rinsing, grabbing another towel for himself. The bathroom feels pleasantly warm and steamy, with no shocking chill when he steps out of the shower.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:48 pm (UTC)Astarion hums, theatrically, pretending thoughtfulness as he takes a few wandering footsteps.
Then he flicks his towel against Jacob's ass.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 07:52 pm (UTC)"Oh you're gonna fucking get it," he laughs and reaches for him.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:05 pm (UTC)Astarion laughs too, letting Jacob trap him against the wall.
"Oh, will I? Whatever will you do with me?"
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:13 pm (UTC)He corners him, placing his arms to either side of him.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:14 pm (UTC)"I'm watching what with you?"
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:15 pm (UTC)"Come on. I'll show you."
But first, he closes the distance between them and kisses him.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:19 pm (UTC)Astarion cradles his face in both hands and kisses him soundly, then - reluctantly - lets him go.
"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:23 pm (UTC)But he finishes drying and opens the door to the bedroom. He nudges Mae off the bed as he dresses only in boxers, giving Astarion a nice comfortable robe. It doesn't fit Jacob, and...he didn't get it for himself anyway.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:26 pm (UTC)Astarion wraps himself up in it happily, glancing down at the way it drapes and hangs.
"Why did you choose this one? It wouldn't fit-"
The penny drops, and a faint pink dusts his cheeks.
"Ah. I - thank you."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:31 pm (UTC)He eventually finds his way and gestures for Astarion to join him on the bed.
"So, this isn't a movie. It's a show about idiots who think they can survive in the wild. They have challenges to complete. And they get to vote each other off. Whoever lasts longest wins."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:42 pm (UTC)He lays down alongside him, snuggling in a little.
"Ah. So it's for...people in their homes to laugh at idiots trying to survive in some far-off wilderness?"
Ritual humiliation! He gets that.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-30 08:45 pm (UTC)He starts it up, letting it go through the lives of the contestants. "Like me."
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: